Year
of 2005:
October
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Oct. 13:
I had yet another appointment for surgery, this time to insert a port
in my upper right shoulder area. The port is the size of a quarter and
will be inserted in my upper right chest area and attached to a major
vein. This port will be the site where I will receive chemo, and the doctors
will easily be able to obtain bloodwork through this site as well. It
means that I won’t have to be pricked with an IV each time I get
treatment. The port will remain with me until all chemo treatments are
received.
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Oct. 17:
I was scheduled to receive my first round of chemotherapy today, but my
oncologist felt my surgery wound needed another week to heal (it's already
been 4 weeks since surgery). Chemo is rescheduled for Oct. 24th. My "cocktail"
(chemo) consists of FOLFOX and Avastin (clinical trial). FOLFOX includes
Leucovorin, Oxaliplatin, and 5-FU (Fluorouracil). Some of the side effects
may or may not affect me. They are: fatigue, low blood counts (white cells,
red cells, and/or platelets), thinning of hair, and neuropathy (extreme
sensitivity to cold -- must wear gloves prior to opening refrigerator
or freezer; feeling of throat closing when eating cold foods). My treatment
will be 4-5 hours once every other week followed by using a portable pump
that will continually give me the chemo for 46 hours thereafter. In sum,
3 days of chemo every other week plus bloodwork.
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Oct. 20:
Spoke with my oncologist ("Onc") regarding further details on
the Avastin clinical trial. Urine sample today and a 24-hour urine collection
scheduled for Oct. 23 to drop off on the 24th. Once bloodwork and urine
are inspected and approved, then I will have my first chemo treatment
on Wed., Oct. 26th. Onc recommended I cut my hair in a shorter style as
I will certainly be losing much of my hair. I'm really scared about the
whole chemo ordeal and very upset about having to cut off my hair.
My belly looks like it was cut in half, right down the middle -- from my breastbone, through my belly button, to my pubic bone -- and it looks like I have three belly buttons in a row too. Not a pretty sight. I certainly won't be doing any more swimwear modeling though I know photographers can do wonders with airbrushing techniques via Adobe Photoshop!
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Oct. 26:
I'm back from getting my first round of chemo at OPIS (Outpatient Infusion
Center Services). One down, 11 more to go! My portable chemo pump is strapped
around my waist and looks like a fanny pack, except there are bumps and
lumps and tubes running from under my shirt and into the pack. And before
I left OPIS this afternoon, after a five-hour stay, I was pricked subcutaneously
with Procrit to elevate my red blood cell count. Ouch. And I'm not scared
of needles. This really stung -- a long, two-minutes-too-slow injection.
Within minutes of the Oxaliplatin/5-FU infusion, my lips and tongue went numb. My fingertips felt like they were being pricked by pins and needles when I held my (cool) water bottle up to my mouth for a drink. It hurt to swallow my saliva, much less drink the water that tore through my throat. Ever bite into something sour that caused pain to shoot up your jaws? Multiply that times 100, and you will know how I felt each time I took the first few bites of any food. I felt nauseated, though once I ate dinner (in pain), I felt fine. My left leg and foot went completely numb and it scared me because I wasn't anticipating this side effect. I had a runny nose and a dry cough for the remainder of the evening. And I fumbled with the pump (still attached to me) all night long.
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Oct. 27:
Runny nose and cough subsided. Numbness of lips and tongue subsided. Sore
throat subsided. Sneezing. Sensitivity to cold. Nausea. Fatigue. Lack
of appetite. Jaw pain. I'm feeling very yucky, like I'm coming down with
a bad bout of the flu.
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Oct. 28:
Oh my gosh. Dry heaves followed by vomiting, extreme nausea, fatigue.
My whole body aches. Still sensitive to cold. I could hardly drive myself
and my sweet little boy to OPIS to drop off the chemo pump. The director,
nurses, staff and volunteers are all so wonderfully caring! I'm sure they
make every one of their patients feel like their only patient. I leave
with a prescription of Phenergan for my nausea and endure a lengthy wait
at the base pharmacy for my Rx. I veg out in front of the TV for the rest
of the day and night with my son. "I'm not feeling great right
now." 
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Oct 29:
I am SO THANKFUL for my daughter as she took care of little Andrew all
day and night. I was completely useless on this day and slept through
the entire 24 hours and then some. I have never felt this kind of fatigue
and nausea in all of my life. It took all of my energy just to take trips
to the bathroom.
Breakfast? Lunch? Dinner? Hell no! Is that FOOD I smell? (Barf)
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Oct 30:
I feel like I've been run over by a Mack truck, though my appetite is
back and I'm able to get around more easily than yesterday. I feel like
I have the flu with body aches. I feel dizzy, I'm still nauseated and
fatigued.
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Oct 31:
My shoulders, neck and upper back hurt. I feel much better (more energized)
today than I had in the last 5 days. I am still somewhat dizzy. Went grocery
shopping and am now exhausted. I bought some frozen dinners for the kids
for when I'm on my next round of Chemo. I hate to do that to them, but
I just know I'll be useless to them again at that time. I'm grateful my
mother-in-law is coming in this afternoon for a couple of days. I feel
like I may not have the energy to take Andrew trick-or-treating this evening.
Guess what? I was wrong! I DID have the energy to go trick-or-treating with my little boy and Grandma, though I had to run back home to change from flip-flops to socks and tennis shoes and put on some gloves. My toes and fingers were going numb from the slight chill in the air. I can't get to sleep -- it's past 3:30 a.m.!
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