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Nov.
2005
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Nov. 1:
I am actually feeling quite well today, though the pain in my neck,
shoulders, and upper back still lingers. I've asked mom-in-law for her
help during next week's Chemo treatments. I admit to her -- and to myself
-- that I tried and failed to take care of myself and the kids while on
Chemo this past week, and I know I CAN'T do it alone. "I need
help on chemo days." It is very hard for me to admit this
and give in to any type of assistance!!!
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Nov. 2:
OK, now I'm starting to feel like my old self again. Gotta go to OPIS
this morning to get my blood work. Blood counts came back fine enough
to schedule Chemo for next Wed., Nov. 9th at 8 a.m. even though my white
blood cell count was a little low. Took my little boy to the park today
with Grandma and had a wonderful time! The colors of Autumn leaves are
so vibrant right now! Orange, reds, yellows, browns. The sun's warmth.
The serenity of blue in the sky by day. The smell of logs burning in the
crisp evening air. Amazing. "Today is a GOOD DAY!"
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Nov. 9:
I can't control my hand movements. They cramp up into weird positions.
My thumbs curl into my palms and stay that way until I pry them open.
It started today, just as I was driving away from OPIS. I had to turn
back around and get some meds to help alleviate this problem. Calcium
and magnesium can supposedly lessen the neuropathy side effects (hand
"cramps", numbness, sensitivity to cold in hands and feet).
I am very fatigued, but do not sleep the day away -- that happens the
next two days. Thank goodness my mother-in-law was here to help out!
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Nov. 13:
I'm still quite fatigued. My father-in-law drove down an hour-and-a-half
from his home in Mt. Vernon, VA to drive the kids and me back to their
place so we could be much closer to Reagan Nat'l Airport. He lives about
20 minutes from the airport. I leave for Oahu, Hawaii tomorrow to "vacation"
with hubby who's been there on business for three weeks already. The kids
will stay behind with Grandma and Grandpa P. Sure miss the kids already.
I hope I feel more energized
tomorrow morning. It will be a long flight - 2.5 hours to Minneapolis
with an hour layover (barely enough time to get from one gate to the other!)
and then 8 hours from Minneapolis to Hawaii. I miss living in Hawaii!
The air perfumed with Plumeria flowers, the mountains on one side, the
ocean on the other side, and blue skies everywhere with an occasional
rainbow or two. True Paradise.
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Nov. 15:
My second day in Hawaii. Pure bliss, though I am very self-conscious of
my abdominal scar and port scar. And how much weight I've gained since
this past summer. The steroids in my chemo pre-meds aren't helping, and
because I don't have the energy to work out, I've not been as active as
I used to be. I'm also losing lots of hair. My hair is 10" from my
neck. Quite long. So I decided to get my hair cut into a short pixie.
This is the one time my husband "approves" of short hair on
me, only because I have a medical reason. I know my hair will grow back,
but it's very hard for me to look beyond this right now. I just feel like
a broken rag doll with scars everywhere, short chopped-up hair, and a
lot of "love" around my belly right now (as in "love handles").
My husband and I joke about the amount of "love" I have for
him, as I have him wrap his arms around my ever-expanding waist. That's
OK, I WILL lose all the weight and get back to my normal 100-105 pounds
and grow out my hair till it's down to my waist.
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Nov. 23:
I'm back from Paradise! Brought back a loadful of Hawaiian-print scrubs
for the wonderful nurses at OPIS. Will hand them out at my next appointment.
My white blood cells are low today. Darn, I'm not getting chemo today
(sarcasm). Now, to concentrate on making the Thanksgiving meal -- my first
time ever to do the whole sha-bang. Turkey, dressing, sweet potato bake,
and my daughter will make our favorite strawberry pretzel crust dessert.
Yum!
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Nov. 30:
Third chemo treatment -- 9 to go. I was given an increase of nausea pre-meds
in addition to infusions of calcium and magnesium to alleviate the neuropathy
I experience. Also got two horse pills of potassium. I had doc look at
my surgery site, as the bottom part of it didn't look right. It looked
like a big scab, but it was really sore and soft underneath. Prescribed
Keflex and Bacitracin to rub on the site. I slept throughout the entire
treatment of six hours. Went home and plopped into bed for the remainder
of the day and night. My good husband brought up my dinner, and I vaguely
remember waking to eat dinner. Hand cramps aren't as bad as they were
on my last treatment, but they're there nonetheless.
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